When I was selling books in Oregon and learning about manifestation, I decided I wanted to become rich. So I worked at trying to allow the universe to increase my sales and my income by selling more books.
However, I hated the book business, hated packing books, hated listing them, hated the whole thing. Just sick of it. Sick of the greed, of the constant adapting to circumstances to survive.
Then one day after reading a book, enlightenment came. I realized that I was restricting the flow of wealth through a certain conduit (books), like electricity flows along a particular wire or a radio plays on a certain frequency.
On the one hand I was telling the universe to “make me rich through my business,” and on the other, “I don’t want to pack any books.” Needless to say, I was treading water. This was completely fear-based, because if I gave up the book business, then what would I do???
I decided then that I would no longer restrict the channel of income. I wouldn’t decide how it would come to me. Then a vendor charged $5,000 on an old credit card on file, taking me $4500 over my limit. That’s when I first considered bankruptcy. Then the IRS came in, I had to shut down the business, gave up the house and everything else, and here I am in Pennsylvania.
Was it the end of the world? No, not at all. I got a completely fresh start and a lot of time to think and set priorities, focus on me, what’s wrong with my thinking, what I really want to do, work on character defects that need changing, a slew of things that I used my work to distract me from. I took the time to invest all that energy into ME instead of into a business. My personal evolution is far more important to me than the success of any business.
I can tell you this: The Universe, God, the Infinite, the All That Is, the Cosmic Consciousness, whatever you want to call the designing personal (or impersonal, if you like) intelligence that forms and enlivens all life is always moving toward happiness, love, fulfillment and evolution. We just need to align ourselves with that intent.
Fear is useful if you’re being chased by a lion or walking home late at night through a bad neighborhood. It’s no good otherwise. It represents a complete distrust in your own power to create and in the universe that sustains you.
And I can tell you from personal experience, fear and worry are a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME. They accomplish NOTHING but they do poison the body and spirit. Giving up all thoughts of worry or fear is the single greatest accomplishment in my life.
I’ve set my intention to be wealthy, to help others, and lately to be an actress. My mind wonders, “How can I become an actress? I have no money? Los Angeles is a long way away. I can’t afford to go to school. There’s so much competition.”
I don’t concern myself anymore with all the details. The Cosmic Consciousness knows the best path because it exists outside of time and space. I trust that path to lay out before me in the proper time. Intuition will guide me. Doors will open.
I’m learning patience. I’m learning how to delay gratification and enjoy today. And I’ve learned that I don’t have to have money to be happy. So I have released the emotionally pressing “need” for money. When I really need it, it shows up.
